Ciao Ciao,
Well, it was great to talk to you all, it has been a rough last few days.
On Monday Morning we were able to teach Rosa again! We did a lesson at her home, another Sorella came with us. The lesson went pretty well. We are going over the different laws and Ordinances of the Gospel. She always is asking us what she has to do, if she were to become a member of the church. She didnt handle the law of tithing very well, to say the least. She kept saying things like, "Well, I just don't agree with that at all." and "So if I were to be part of this community and I agree with everything EXCEPT tithing, could I still be part?" ehhhhh.... yea it was a rough lesson. By the end, after we all bore our testimonies about the PRINCIPLE of tithing, she was more understanding that it is a LITTLE thing we can do to show gratitude from God, not really a crippling obligation. I felt the spirit really strong as I bore testimony of the example of my parents and how they have put God first in their lives by paying an honest tithe to God, before spending money on anything else. I really am grateful for that example, and I know that tithing really is a blessing more than a burden. She is still progressing, she read the chapter we left her in the BOM ALma 32, and really liked it. I still have faith that she will get baptized, it is just incredible to see the ways that Satan works at people, when it seems like everything is perfect for someone to just get baptized. It's hard to maintain that faith sometimes, but thats the whole test of life. Maintaining faith, and HOPE, when all looks grim and gloomy. I really like John 8:12.
We were able to see Concitta. she left today to go to her new job in calabria fro the summer. She is incredible and I am so sad to think that I may never see her again. There is a chance that the job wont work out and they will send her back t oSiracusa, or they willl send her anywhere basically in Europe. She is a singer and dancer/performer for these little tourist villages. She has a strong testimony adn wants to get baptized, but again, there are just obstacles that we dont really have control over right now. I know that one day she will get baptized.
It IS very hard sometimes. for my companion who goes home soon, to go home not seeing any baptisms, its not easy to not see the fruits of your labors. Yesterday was a rough morning. You go around for hours, testifying to people, offering them something that lliterally can change their life, and its like they just throw it down no the ground and step on it. We gave a man in a newspaper stand the other day a Book of Mormon. We have gone back twice since we geve him the Book of Mormon, and yesterday he wanted to give it back to us. I wouldnt take it back. i felt strongly like one day he would feel the desire to read it, and that maybe he would one day be ready to receive the message. We offered a lady a Book of mormon, but she wouldnt take it. We visit people who were baptized years ago, they realized the beauty of the message, and now go to Catholic mass. Its sad. Its really hard. but then, you have moments like the following, that for me, make all of the rejections and disappointments worth it.
We have a lady named Anna that we visit a lot in her little store down the street. She has an abusive husband, who has left her countless times over the years, but who she is still with nonetheless. We cannot go to her house, because of her husband. She was baptized about 2 years ago, but stopped going to church several months after being baptized. Her little daughter Alesia was supposed to be baptised about 7 months ago. Anna had been praying whether this was the right decision for her daughter, to be baptized. The day of the baptiosm came, and the font was broken, so she would have had to get baptised in cold water. Anna took this as a sign that it wasnt the right decision for Alesia her daughter to get baptised, and that was the start of her distancing herself from the church. Yesterday we stopped by, and we had read an article written in the March 2008 Ensign that we felt prompted to share with Anna. Often it is hard to get in a "lesson" because people are coming in and out while we are still there, and we cant really talk. Yesterday, we brought the article, and told her there was a part we wanted to read to her. The talk is called "The Atonement of Jesus Christ" by Elder Holland, and he tells of a dream that Elder Orson F. Whitney had when he was a missionary. The dream was that he was there in the Garden of Gethsemane witnessing the Savior's pain that he went through. He later in his dream has a one on one encounter with the Savior. This was the part we felt prompted to share with Anna. from the dream..."I ran from behind the tree, fell at his feet, clasped Him around the knees, and begged him to take me with him. I shall never forget the kind and gentle manner in which He stooped and raised me up and embraced me. It was so vivid, so real that I felt the very warmth of his bosom against which I rested. Then He said, 'No my son, these have finished their work, and they may go with me, but you must stay and finish yours.' Still I clung to Him. Gazing up into his face-for he was taller than I-I besought Him most earnestly: 'Well promise me than I will come to you at the last.' He smiled sweetly and tenderly and replied: 'That will depend entirely upon yourself' I awoke with a sob in my throat, an it was morning"
This, and a little more at the beginning, was what we sat and read with Anna. Never before had we been able to read anything together. She read this outloud, and struggled to finish it. I was not sure what was going on, all I knew was that she was touched by something. She then began to tell us that last night, she was lying in bed in the middle of the night, and felt really sick, she told us she started praying to God, that she felt she still had time to live. She heard a voice, speaking directly to her as she outloud read this talk. She told us that she knows that she read this talk, and the Lord was speaking directly to her in that very moment. She told us that she knows that she needs to do the things that "depend on herself"..She started crying and said "I cant deny it, God answers our prayers" She thanked us over and over. It was an incredible moment to witness that The Lord knows us, and that He answers our prayers. Even those who have not prayed in years. I will never forget that experience.
Last night we had a fiasco at English Course. For our spiritual thought we talked about Prophets. There was an extra large group there last night because the Anziani had to go to a Birthday party for their investigator, so their intermediate students came to my basic class. Sorella White's advanced course comes in and sits in on the message, because we teach it together. In total, there were about 25 people in the room. There were a few people who started asking, who chooses? who is the prophet? Then, other people started saying, eh, that is NOT the way it works, there were prophets in the Bible, that man is NOT a prophet. There began to be a really contentious spirit in the room and I started freaking out. We werent at all able to calmly answer questions, because it broke out into this really intense yelling fest. We had one member present, who we kept looking at to help us explain. I stepped out in the hall becuase I felt myself starting to sweat, and starting to loose it. I stepped outside to ease myself of the intensity and not start crying. It wasnt just the fact that they were asking questions, more just that i felt they were all thinking that we were trying to convince them of something. Then my muslim student came out and was like "Whats wrong!????" then I knew I was done for. Then they ALLLLLL come runnning out, and at this point I has lost it and was sobbing. it was THE MOST embarassing thing of my entire life. The frustration I think for me was that I am not able to express myself as I could in English, in Italian, and in a moment where there were so many people, so many accusations being made etc, I just exploded under pressure. Anyways, that experience has made me reflect a lot. What is more important, a message that answers ALL our problems, or me trying to maintain friendships with people I have come to love so much? Balance is the hardest thing in the mission for me. Its so hard. Is it just a matter of a "difference of opinions" as so many claim, or really is there something COMPLETELY different and UNIQUE about the restored gospel? Yes. I dont ever want the Lord to think I let people settle for something that DOESNT bring them back, but at the same time, I can still love them by telling them their religion just WONT cut it. Its just so hard sometimes.
Anyways , I love you all, and hope you have a great week. Thank you for your prayers.
-Monica
...Sorella Miller
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